..and in that moment of frustration and anger, I grab my keys and purse (minus um driver's license), shove on flip flops, and lighty slam the door on my way out.
It's almost 1 in the morning: this is my 'adult' temper tantrum. (how very high school haha)
Ignoring my mom's phonecall, I blast the radio and drive aimlessly, letting the road take me wherever. Half of me feels like going back, swallowing it in, and apologizing. But I don't. I stay immature. The serenity of the night tempts me.
It's like taking a nice, warm shower, where the hot water runs and runs, and you don't want to get out. Not wanting to step out of that cozy little bubble - to face coldness.. reality.
Driving in the dark feels so relaxing.
I've never done this before - random driving, aka spontaneous gas-wasting (mammoth of a Ford Expedition~ sorry mr ozone layer!). ohh but I drove the speed limit for once! Even 10 under! (saw a police car)
I don't want to stop and turn home just yet - not when the radio station's actually playing good songs, and when the darkness of the night can comfort and calm me. She's in the solitary car on the road.
On the way home I pass the church. I could sit in the parking lot and pray and mull. But I drive past, feeling guilty.
That's me - avoiding..
What am I running from?
After half an hour, I come home, and my youngest sister is still awake on the family room sofa. "Why aren't you asleep yet? Go upstairs to bed," I tell her.
She says it's too hot, she can't sleep. I poke her legs.
And I wonder if she heard the fight.
It's almost 1 in the morning: this is my 'adult' temper tantrum. (how very high school haha)
Ignoring my mom's phonecall, I blast the radio and drive aimlessly, letting the road take me wherever. Half of me feels like going back, swallowing it in, and apologizing. But I don't. I stay immature. The serenity of the night tempts me.
It's like taking a nice, warm shower, where the hot water runs and runs, and you don't want to get out. Not wanting to step out of that cozy little bubble - to face coldness.. reality.
Driving in the dark feels so relaxing.
I've never done this before - random driving, aka spontaneous gas-wasting (mammoth of a Ford Expedition~ sorry mr ozone layer!). ohh but I drove the speed limit for once! Even 10 under! (saw a police car)
I don't want to stop and turn home just yet - not when the radio station's actually playing good songs, and when the darkness of the night can comfort and calm me. She's in the solitary car on the road.
On the way home I pass the church. I could sit in the parking lot and pray and mull. But I drive past, feeling guilty.
That's me - avoiding..
What am I running from?
After half an hour, I come home, and my youngest sister is still awake on the family room sofa. "Why aren't you asleep yet? Go upstairs to bed," I tell her.
She says it's too hot, she can't sleep. I poke her legs.
And I wonder if she heard the fight.
posted by Sunyoung | 4:30 PM
3 Comments:
I like this entry. Even though the experience may not have been so pleasant(I'm sorry), the entry was really excellent. It read like a short story. And I like how you poke your sister at the end.
please. keep writing. also, i like how you think. Now maybe you can write about reconciliation. Or not.
love ezra
oh, how i hate family fights. miss you, dear, and i hope things will fare well.
my mom and i are good now, thanks ezra :-)
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