Letting go to gain.

You and I, we struggle to live and struggle to be strong.
Often I put up a front, constructing my own defense mechanisms, holding myself back. The fear of exposing vulnerability and shame only results in disatisfaction in fufillment - numbed by emptiness, floating in loneliness.

God, this is me crying out for the love that is hard to recognize without complete abandonment.

Today, in the middle of English class I heard my old ringtone, and momentarily I sat lost and disorientated. Transported back to a year ago, to the more naive freshmen days. The reappearance of a familiar tune unearthed that small mound of hurt.

You'd think I'd get over the past quickly - because that's how growth is best instilled - but unconsciously or however suppressed, the old snubs and disappointments, the prolonged guilt, the hurt I received and gave, are all still there. Faded yet engraved.