In collapsing furniture I seek comfort
to rest the weary legs of my Esteem -
they have not traveled far, but around in circles.

Such intangible crumbs
lay on this open table -
I can't sweep them away.



---------------
Recently I've faced so much disappointment I go numb and my days pass in wasted nothingness. And the main disappointment I can't escape from, the one I can't directly deal with - is myself.

Although everyone gets stuck in a rut here and then, it seems like I take it to the extreme. Why can't I move? Out of sheer laziness, sheer habitual inability to call on any willpower.. I need to get my act together, but there's no driving mechanism or motivation. The more meaningful things are placed on hold as I tend only to superficial priorities.

I know this will pass, yet for now I'm so consumed and paralyzed with guilt.